Well life sure has its ups and its downs doesn't it? As life goes on, it seems like for everything that gets fixed another thing is always broken! God has granted us happiness, and comfort. He has been so good to us. He moved us from the place that I have lived for 3 years, and moved us to the place that were at now. Its a much nicer place, full of room, and quiet. Its the quiet that has gotten to me. I've finally learned to adapt to the nice peace and quiet. Its strange how when I lived her one time before (thats a long story) it wasn't so quiet. I was a much different person then, I was probably a lot of the cause of the loudness here, I know for a fact that I didn't help the loudness at all. So here we are being blessed by God everyday, that we are here, and it seems like for every move I make to getting closer to my husband, he takes 5 steps back away from me.
For instance, I found this cute little game for the Xbox, and he completely ruined it for me, by becoming obsessed with it, and staying up every night to play it. Knowing that I'd love to just cuddle up to him and fall asleep in his arms, but instead he is up playing that game. Or during the day when I'm working hard to cook, and clean, and to make this place our home, he comes home from running errands and turns on the Xbox and starts playing it. Not caring that I was in the middle of something, or that I am trying to get the house clean and organized! It really ruins my mood and causes me to feel completely small and unimportant to him sometimes. I don't want to sound ungrateful or like a bad wife, but I want things to be different for us. I want us to get closer, like my grandparents are. Really I do. I want him to know me inside and out. I want to know him inside and out. I'd like for us to be a perfect couple.
Life wise things for me couldn't be going better. Travis has an interview here next weekend for the local subway, and that could mean that he'll be working soon!! Praise God!! I'm doing good, I'm doing and sticking to my Weight Watchers diet, and its been going fantastic!! I have been doing my exercises everyday so far, and am working on getting the house sorted out, and organized!! I am going to be registering for school as soon as I have the money to do so. I'm hoping to be registered and everything next month!
Well I think I'm going go... I have to go to bed, so I can get things done, and make an awesome breakfast tomorrow...
"Sweet Father, I love you, and I thank you for all that you've done for us. I thank you for changing me and for causing me the want to read your word, and that want to be close to Travis. Father, it hurts me so much that Travis won't sleep with me. That he finds the game to be more important than coming to be with me. Father I grieve, so much inside. I want nothing more but to cry. I have wanted nothing but for us to have an awesome and strong marriage, for us to be close together. Father, I ask that you please help Travis find a job soon, and help us get all settled in here. Father I apologize for being so terrible with the money that you blessed us with. I promise to do better, and to pray more about how I spend the money that you bless us with. Father I ask and pray that you please help us. Please give me the strength and wisdom that I will need to be a good wife, and a potential mother. Father, I ask and pray that you please give Travis the Maturity and the wisdom that he needs to be a good husband, and dad to our children. Father I also ask and pray that you please show My Mom, and Jocelyn the truth. Please bless Jocelyn and her mom Amy, please show them and teach them that they need to allow Gabby to be a little girl, please help them be better influences on her, so that she can grow up strong in your word, and knowing that YOU love her. Father please help us, to do as you would want us to. I love you Father. Goodnight Father.. In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen."
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