Ups, Downs and Frustrations...

Okay, so its hard to think that my marriage is getting a little better each and everyday, even without marriage counseling. Today was the second day that Travis and I have been talking about things, and working together on things!! Its been remarkable!! Its been so awesome to be able to talk to Travis, and really discuss things, without yelling, screaming, crying, or drama!! Its such a relief to see our prayers being answered!! At least in this part of our marriage...

However, in the world of drama, and irresponsible behavior, things are of coarse getting a little more dramatic.. Seriously, so today was Tanya's 18th birthday, we bought her a cake, and balloons, got her some soda, and stuff, and went over to her dads hotel room (Yeah hotel room, cuz hes a homeless drunk that doesn't have a place to stay) to wish her a happy birthday, instead all we got was drama, and a lecture. Her dad announced that Tanya is supposedly (I don't believe it) 3 months pregnant, and so her dad sat there and told her mom (Cindy) what a pathetic and bad parent that she was, and how this was all her fault. How she was a terrible person because she stepped away, and was trying to sort herself out, etc. It was all very upsetting to Cindy, so she came here, and felt sorry for herself all day, instead of fighting against what he said, or praying about it, she just accepted it, and let it effect her.

So with that said, Travis and I have decided that we are going to refuse to allow all those lies, and manipulations to effect our home here. So we are battling the whole manipulation game, with some motivation, and support. We are instead going to focus on cleaning, and organizing the house tomorrow, then we are going to tell Cindy that she is going to have to pay 200.00 to stay here every month, and will have to help us with food, etc. We are going to take the 200.00 every month, and are going to set that aside, and put it in Travis' savings account, and are going to hang on to it for her, so that come spring she can move out into her own place. So that way, this spring time, we will have room for Gabby, so that she can be staying here on the weekends or whatever we get figured out.

So I have been doing really bad with the money, seriously. I have spent every last dime, on stupid useless fast food crap. Okay, so I have done a bad thing, and haven't thought about what God would want me to do with the money that He has blessed us with. I mean seriously I have been feeling a great deal of regret, and shame about how I have been spending our money. Right now I'm listening to Greg Mitchells teaching on Tithing, and how we should spend our money, and take care of it, since its such a blessing from God, and you know what? Hes right.. I have been listening with to this sermon, and this is very Eye opening!!

"Sweet Father, I am so sorry for cheating you!! I had no idea that Tithing, and wasting money was against You, or was cheating You of what YOU wanted. Sweet Father, please forgive me for this, as I had no idea. Father, please guide me, and teach me to save, and to spend money as YOU would command me too. Father, I feel so sad, and disappointed in myself for how I have been disobeying your word. Father, I am so so sorry.. My heart cries out for forgiveness, and I hope that You will forgive me, and help me to know how to never disobey you in this way again. Father I ask that you please continue to bless my marriage, and that You please guide Travis to be the husband that You'd want him to be. Father please continue to change and guide me to be the wife/woman that you'd want me to be. Father, I ask that you please bless Tanya, and her father, please guide them, and help them realize that there is a better way to live out there. Father please guide and bless Cindy, and allow her to know that we are going to lead her to you, during this time of her heart aches, and pain. Father, please guide us, and please bless us. Father, I want to thank You for all the blessings and wonderful miracles that we have seen so far in our lives, and ask that you please continue to bless us, and to show us the miracles!! Father I love you. In Jesus' Name Amen."