Well things for me, are settled, and today was house cleaning day. All I got done however, was the Kitchen, Living room, and Bedroom. I looked at the Bathroom, and it was okay, as for the spare room, its completely useless to try to do anything with it at this point, as its still full of things that either need to go to storage, and since we don't have room in storage or storage here needs to be cleaned out, which I am hoping to tackle that on Saturday, so that we can get things cleaned out, and warmed up. So with that said, I am leaving that room, a mess until we can take the things outta it, so I can clean it up!! Once I get it cleaned out, its going to be a temporary office room, until we get money to setup Gabby's room, then we are going to hire an attorney and are going to file for joint custody so that she can stay here over night, and use her room!!
As far as other things are going, I am feeling much better than I did last night, or even yesterday. I think that God wanted me to feel, and start the grieving process for the childhood that was so wrongly stolen from me. I don't think I have ever cried, or even grieved like that. I Thank God, for the grieving and the healing that took place, I know that it was a very small amount compared to how much more grieving that will take place, but I know that its a start for me!! So PRAISE GOD!! I am hoping to continue healing, and to continue being able to grieve. I am hoping that by the time we move, and get Gabby here we will be such a prepared couple to help her grow and know God!!
Right now, I am truly feeling okay. I am a bit bored, and a bit blah, but I am in a good mood, and can't wait to cook dinner, and to sit down, and read my bible, do some chatting, and to fall asleep with a smile on my face. Travis and I have been more intimate in the last 2 days then I think we have been in the last 2 months of our relationship. I think we are finally starting to officially click. I will admit it, I married him for the sex. I wanted to be with him, and to have him all for myself. I do love him, I mean don't get me wrong, I really do love him, but sex and stuff was one of the main reasons, I thought that God would want me to marry him, then continue to have sex, rather than continue to have sex, and eventually move on to someone else. Now I am bound to my husband, no matter what happens, and that feeling has given me anxiety as well as peace. It depends on the day and what goes on...
Over all, though I am happy to be his wife, and to continue to pray for us...
Well thats all for now, I might write more before I go to bed, but will go for now, to make dinner... Or try too at least ROFL...
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