Cheaters, Cindy and Wounded Heart...

Okay, so today has been going good, except as of right now, we don't have enough money for rent. Seriously. We don't. So I'm really and truly hoping that I will be able to get that back pay this month, so that I can pay our bills, and ensure that we are truly set. Also, I got a letter today, from SSA and they told me that they are going to take out 290.00 out of my check a month for Medicaid?! WHAT?! Are you fricken serious?! Its not worth it, I will go without insurance then.. Seriously I will... I'm not prepared or financially secure to pay all of that money for insurance.. There is no point to it.. Seriously there isn't...

Right now I"m listening to the Cheaters series from church, so I can remember what Cheating is, and how I need to change my life... To ensure that I'm ensink with God, and what He wants for us... Okay so I just Tithed for the first time, since I"ve gotten my SSI. So I am thinking and hoping that God is pleased by what I did, cuz ya know, I love Him and really want Him to be pleased by my actions.. Really I do!!! Praise God!!

So I'm going to focus on what I"m supposed to be focusing on, I was cheating all along. By not exercising, and counting my points, by not trying to read the bible, and focus on things, by staying up late and not doing as I'm supposed to be doing as a Christian Woman.. I am going to stop cheating, lying and manipulating.. I'm going to start asking questions instead of pretending to know what I'm always talking about, I don't have to be right, I'm not God, I'm HIS daughter, and am not all knowing.. Although I wish I were lol... I'm going to start accepting that I'm not in control, and that I'm not going to know everything.. Seriously....

So with that said... I'm going to start asking questions, and am going to write down the answers... I'm going to seek the truth and learn to live as God would command me to live.. I'm going to surround myself with people who love God, and can hear HIS voice all the time.. I'm going to learn to hear HIM all the time, and am going to learn to know what God demands of me, and how He commands me to learn.. I'm going to....

No matter what, I'm going too.....