Ugh...

Okay, so after a lot of time with Cindy, I have come to realize that she is a liar, and a manipulator. I have also come to terms with the fact that I have to leave Chuck and Jack.. I mean seriously, it seems like Chuck will never accept the fact that no only am I married, but that I'm married to another man. I mean seriously, he needs to let go, and although Jack is one of my best friends, its all a life of lies, and deciet which makes me no better than Cindy, so with that said, I am going to focus on cooking, cleaning, and doing household things for God, and Travis. I'm going to focus on listening to the bible, and reading the bible, and attending church on the weekends. I'm going to focus on taking care of Travis...

I've also decided that I'm not going to be Cindy's friend anymore. I mean she has lied and manipulated me, and without reason. I have never been mean, or unfair to her, but have welcomed her into our home, and rescued her from being homeless. So with that said, I'm not her friend, nor am I her savior, instead I am going to just be me. I mean seriously. I don't need to be rescuing her from her own created hell.. Do I? So with that said, I'm really sick today. I mean I feel so icky, and its so hard to feel this icky, its like why?! I'm almost 300 lbs, and am worried about gaining more weight, so I'm going to start working out 4 days a week no matter what I have to do... So with that said, I'm a bit frazzled today, I mean I seriously am. Its like I don't have any straight or lasting thoughts... I do know however that I'm sick today, and so might not be able to make it to Wounded Heart tonight...